Taken by the Wind

Today I watched not one, but two bunnies get butchered. I watched because of respect. Being a meat eater, but also choosing not to eat beef, and wanting to be more conscious of what I'm eating and where it comes from. I watched because of knowledge. If I'm going to raise rabbits and sell them as meat rabbits (inevitably), I want to know what their death may look like. I watched because of choice. Choosing to eat meat over the years, I never put much thought into it. I'm such an animal lover and have thought I would become a vegetarian at times, but it honestly sounds so ridiculous to me. Especially when I think back to a time of hunters and gatherers. But, my point being that if watching a rabbit being butchered didn't turn me into a vegetarian it will make feel better about eating meat at least. So, did I gain anything from this or did it feel plain satanistic? As the man put it, "I'm no satanatist". I didn't get any joy out of watching ...

What or who would you be if you knew you couldn't fail? I would travel the world and be a freelance photo journalist that specializes in nature, wildlife and destinations. Take pictures of everywhere I've been and all of the exotic animals I've seen and write about it. Make a significant amount of money where I can comfortably travel wherever I want with my family and show them the world. What is your ninety-second personal elevator speech? (to get someone to fully understand you) No matter how old I am, I am young at heart. No matter how young I am, I am more mature than my age. I am compassionate and want so badly to see the good in everyone. I am too willingly able to love and forgive. I love everything about life, not just mine, but life in general.  Beauty can make me crushingly sad. I find more room in my heart everyday to feel and love things. I am tired and lay in bed for days on end to re-energize and I think about everything that has happened to me and what...

Feeling good, and getting by. That's what it's about for me. I've never wanted anything more than to be content, and when I'm more than content...well, that works too. I wasn't looking at this move as a new start, but that's what it is. A new state, a new house, a new job, a new PUPPY. It's terrifying in a sense because I don't know for sure where this will all take me. What I do know is that being happy and terrified is usually a good thing. Those are the moments worth living for, and I'm currently living it. I'm not positive about what will come next after this. But whatever it is, it'll be worth it. I'm going to do what I want, and live the life I want. I'm going to be happy. I'm going to take risks. I keep these things in the back of my mind. When making decisions, these are the things that help me decide. What's best for me is what I want, not what anyone else wants for me. There's not a certain path meant for me. I...

I'll pout my lips, give shy smiles, subtly touch my face, look a little longer than I should. You want something to look at? I'll give you something to look at.You want to know me? Yeah well, mystery is a bitch. It pulls you in, and makes you want more. But guess what? You don't get more. When your mind starts to wander, you have to stop, and focus. Focus on your wife, the one sitting right the fuck next to you. And what is she doing? The same exact thing you were. Eye fucking some person across the room, because your pathetic lives aren't enough anymore. I know this, you know this, we all fucking know this. You feed off of the young, and we feed off of you too.

Be yourself, in all of your entirety. Feel everything, in all of it’s entirety. Don't be afraid of making connections. That's what I personally think will kill all of our souls. Don't let something or someone decide how you will carry on the rest of your life. Decide now, to be open. I've been dealing with struggles within myself for way too long now, and felt like I needed to preach to the choir. Maybe you will need this. Maybe you will make the connection to your own life, and come out a better person. I'm writing because I want this to be read. I feel like I have something to say, whether it gives you a good laugh, or genuinely means something to you. Probably a good laugh. But this genuinely means something to ME. I'm 100% out in the open now. You have my life...in a blog. My heart just skipped, and butterflies are hitting the walls of my stomach. I'm so nervous, but I'm SO excited. When you look forward to the future it changes your life. Life is q...

Coming to you live at 5:17 AM. How I got here? I couldn't begin to explain. It's been a long day, a long week, and a long month. I'm not going to complain about it though, I'm simply going to tell you the facts. I'm becoming engulfed in myself. Whatever I feel, I make it a point to let it consume me to the fullest. I feel tired. I feel anxious. I feel sad. I feel melancholic. Luckily, I know this will pass, just as well as I know that it will come back too. I want to explain to you how tired I become when I hear something I don't want to hear, and knowing I have to continue my day wishing I never heard it. Wishing I could be back in my bed, and asleep. Away from reality. I want to explain the anxiety I get when I know there's a problem I need to speak up about, but can't find the words, or the guts, to say something. My hands get clammy, and my lungs fill up with so much air that it takes my breath away. I want to explain the sadness I feel when I think ...

Peace is when you’re in the midst of all the craziness, and you can take a deep breath, despite all the bullshit, and know you’re okay. You’re okay. Be at peace…I’m at peace with all of the bad, and all of the good in my life. I’ve accepted that no matter how great my life is, there is still negativity everywhere. The only way to be at peace with life is to accept the negativity that comes with it. Feelings, emotions, and moments…they all pass. In fact, everything passes. You feel like you want to die? I promise you, if you’re patient, you will find a reason to live. You’re in love? I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re going to fall out of love. You’re sliding down your bathroom wall while your face is drenched in tears? You’re going to get up. And listen very carefully…YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. BE. OKAY. And how do I know all of this? Because that was me. I wanted to die, I fell in love, and I cried my heart out. As impossible as it sounded then, it happened. I’m here. I’m alive. And ...