CHANGE.

 CHANGE.

A word that surrounds me, invites me.

A word that terrifies most.

Inevitable, isn't it?

What is it with the people around me who are so enraged, insulted and scared of my CHANGE and their own? Why are the people I know, who are the most miserable people I know, the ones who don't embarce CHANGE? It makes perfectly good sense though. The people who bitch and complain of their circumstances, but do nothing to CHANGE them. And that is why they are miserable.

A powereful word that loses its meaning the more we repeat it. What is it? Who is it? Why is it? How is it? 

CHANGE, to me, is a beautiful word that ebbs and flows like the ocean. CHANGE, to you, is a daunting word that has dramatic high and lows like a rollercoaster. Why is that? Suppose it is because we are both used to it. I've become fond of it and you've become sick of it.

CHANGE is the difference between you and I. I love it, I seek it. I look at every CHANGE in life as a positive opportunity to pivot. But, is everything an actual CHANGE or is CHANGE also an excuse to alienate people you care about? Oh, how many times I've heard someone say "Oh, you've CHANGEd!", as it is somehow a horrible thing. I've never known CHANGE to be horrible. Uncomfortable, at times, yes. If fact, almost always. What is that saying we all know about nothing grows in your comfort zone?

We, you, are all so comfortable. In our little lives, doing nothing, making little to no impact. Working the same job, dating the same toxic people, hanging out with the same people as a decade age. Making no CHANGE to be better, making no room to grow. Scared to make the CHANGE that is needed to fix the depression, the anger, the addiction, the mess that is our lives. We make easy excuses and place the blame on our parents, our generation, our childhood. The fact is, there is no excuse. Your excuse is bullshit. Your excuse is complacency. You don't want to CHANGE. You, instead, want to be the victim, you want the hard life, you want the people around you to pity you. And me? I REFUSE. And yes, I am judging you. You, so stuck in your ways. I am judging your easy way out by being miserable. The same way you judge my happiness.

It's true what they say. Misery loves company. And, when you don't give that misery its much wanted company, the result is the oh so common, "Oh, you've CHANGEd!". Have I? Why thank you! I've been working on myself, bettering myself, growing and making space for what serves me. But to the miserable ones, what does that translate to? CHANGing means some harsh truths: I've moved on. I've learned my lesson. I've released people from my life who have used me and brought me down. I've released people who take and take from me, but never stopped to ask about my life or happiness. I've said some easy goodbyes, and I've said some incredbily hard ones. All in all, I am safer now. I have protected and realigned myself. 

When you're in a relationship, for instance, we all change. Some for the worst, and the lucky ones, for the absolute best. I can say I am a lucky one. But, not so lucky when it comes to CHANGE and how the people around me perceive it. Because when you're single, the CHANGE is commendable. You are so self-aware and growing. When you're in a relationship, the CHANGE is now foolishly associated with the relationship and is now somehow negative. How small-minded! The two same CHANGEs, under different circumstances go from positive to negative. I am talking about healthy relationships, where two individuals encourage each others growth. The type of CHANGE that healthy people are happy for you. And, sadly, the type of CHANGE miserable people are insulted by. We have come full circle to "misery loves company". When you choose CHANGE, happiness and growth, misery and miserable people, are deprived. 

CHANGE is about moving forward. Deprive the miserable. Leave them in your dust. Let them see the positive affects of CHANGE. Show them the way by going your own way. Build your life. Protect your space. I'd like to list the positivity in my life now that I'm committed to my CHANGE: I have a powerful relationship with myself and my healing. I have refound my love for art whether that be overflowing a page with my words, reading stimulating books, finding beauty behind a lens or simply enjoying others art and passions. My ability to love freely and healthily. Reigniting like-minded friendships to reinforce and maintain a social life without toxicity.

If you are that person, who is scared of change, who somehow looks down on me or anyone for their change, I challenge YOU, to take a long, hard look at yourself. Why you can't be happy for others and their postive CHANGE? Are you being left in the dust? Is it because you are not committed to yourself or your growth? CHANGE starts when you decide. So, decide. Choose CHANGE, for the better.