Skip to main content

My Testimony

Be yourself, in all of your entirety. Feel everything, in all of it’s entirety. Don't be afraid of making connections. That's what I personally think will kill all of our souls. Don't let something or someone decide how you will carry on the rest of your life. Decide now, to be open. I've been dealing with struggles within myself for way too long now, and felt like I needed to preach to the choir. Maybe you will need this. Maybe you will make the connection to your own life, and come out a better person. I'm writing because I want this to be read. I feel like I have something to say, whether it gives you a good laugh, or genuinely means something to you. Probably a good laugh. But this genuinely means something to ME. I'm 100% out in the open now. You have my life...in a blog. My heart just skipped, and butterflies are hitting the walls of my stomach. I'm so nervous, but I'm SO excited. When you look forward to the future it changes your life. Life is quite literally put into your own hands. I was scared, I still am, of dying. I had the mind set that I needed to live everyday to the fullest, which everyone should do, always. I had the mind set, but I wasn't doing anything about it. I'm sure there's some nifty saying or quote out there about procrastination...*insert here*. I can't really tell you where this sort of epiphany came from or when it came to me. I can tell you what I do know. I am here to challenge my life, and win. I will gladly admit that I have no idea what I'm doing. I just have a good feeling about this. I think I have finally reached the state of optimism. So weird...I think this is my testimony. No, Kaila. Say it (write it) out loud. Breathe in all of the life around you, and hold it all in until it spreads through your whole body, and soul. Now breathe out. This is my testimony. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's Okay

Peace is when you’re in the midst of all the craziness, and you can take a deep breath, despite all the bullshit, and know you’re okay. You’re okay. Be at peace…I’m at peace with all of the bad, and all of the good in my life. I’ve accepted that no matter how great my life is, there is still negativity everywhere. The only way to be at peace with life is to accept the negativity that comes with it. Feelings, emotions, and moments…they all pass. In fact, everything passes. You feel like you want to die? I promise you, if you’re patient, you will find a reason to live. You’re in love? I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re going to fall out of love. You’re sliding down your bathroom wall while your face is drenched in tears? You’re going to get up. And listen very carefully…YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. BE. OKAY. And how do I know all of this? Because that was me. I wanted to die, I fell in love, and I cried my heart out. As impossible as it sounded then, it happened. I’m here. I’m alive. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Choose Meat

Today I watched not one, but two bunnies get butchered. I watched because of respect. Being a meat eater, but also choosing not to eat beef, and wanting to be more conscious of what I'm eating and where it comes from. I watched because of knowledge. If I'm going to raise rabbits and sell them as meat rabbits (inevitably), I want to know what their death may look like. I watched because of choice. Choosing to eat meat over the years, I never put much thought into it. I'm such an animal lover and have thought I would become a vegetarian at times, but it honestly sounds so ridiculous to me. Especially when I think back to a time of hunters and gatherers. But, my point being that if watching a rabbit being butchered didn't turn me into a vegetarian it will make feel better about eating meat at least. So, did I gain anything from this or did it feel plain satanistic? As the man put it, "I'm no satanatist". I didn't get any joy out of watching ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mental Health Awareness

Here we go: #MentalHealthAwareness For those who won't make it through the whole thing just know I hope you decide to live today and every other day. Mostly because I'm selfish and need other fucked up people similar to myself for emotional support, because this shit is WAAACK. When I was 16 the depression became noticeable. Weeks spent in bed, grades going down the drain, attempted suicide, self harm, the whole package deal. When I was 18 I was diagnosed with basically everything a mentally ill person can be diagnosed with... PTSD, Generalized Anxiety, Depression and showing symptons of Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality. (Yeah, don't fuck with me). In between 16 and now I walked out on multiple jobs, traveled in order to "find myself", got in questionable relationships, continued the self harm, avoided my family, etc. It got ugly but then it would be okay for a little bit, like a steady but manageable trickle of darkness. I got lucky because I start...
Post a Comment
Read more